I'm supposed to go out to the fair with jacob tonight. But, I'm on day 2 of my head hurting so bad.
Now basically all I want to do is get to the point where I can pass out. I know that doesn't make much sense. And it's definitely not the "right" thing to do. But, the right think is getting me nowhere. The tylenol. advil, excedrin...it doesn't nothing to touch my pain. But people don't care. I doubt I'll even publish this because I don't want the drama associated with it. When I say drama, I mean people who want to care, but have no way to care. Don't tell me to go to the dr. It doesn't help. Don't tell me to pray or take supplements because it doesn't happen.
This is what I'm saying when I say I mean there's a difference between suicide and just wanting it all gone. I just want to sleep for a while. LIke a week maybe.
For some people that may sound suicidal. For me...it's the furthest thing from it. I know what it's like to feel suicidal. I've been there. I've taken the steps. And thank God it didn't work. So, I know that isn't this.
I just want to sleep until this pain is gone. When I sleep for hours and wake up and still have pain, it's such a gut wrenching feeling. Especially during the week when I have to get up and get the kids off to schoool and then still get stuff done. The stuff I'm doing to try to make money for my family.
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